Saturday, August 11, 2007

In Honor of Friends

So long since I've written anything. Not sure if I even know how to do this anymore -- bear with me...

I am back on the blog because my precious friend Mattie & her family have just moved to Abu Dhabi. That's right -- THAT Abu Dhabi -- the one that is 9 hrs time difference from here. I had the chance to have coffee with her a few days before she & the kids went to meet their husband/dad who's been there a couple of months already, and it was a perfect example of 'bittersweet.'

Mattie's the kind of person that you can feel at ease with. A 'come as you are' friend. Ours was a quick friendship. I vaguely remember when our paths crossed, actually not very long ago, and well, we just instantly had a connection. Regardless of whether it was months in between our talking or days, we just picked up where we left off. A natural-born encourager. Not a gushy-mushy encourager, but a strong, steadfast one. A person who speaks with authority and yet still a measure of tenderness.

So as we left our coffee date, each of us getting into our own cars and driving away, the flood gates opened. I had not cried prior to that, but when I saw her in my rearview mirror, I could no longer be stoic and stalwart. I am happy that she is at last joining her husband, and I know that they have wanted so badly to be 'sent' out into the world. No, my sadness was for myself mourning the physical relocation of a precious friend who has become so dear to me.

Anyway, that's my friend Mattie. I trust that since she will be online blogging that hopefully my getting back on will be a good way for us to keep tabs on one another. I am not worried about our friendship diminishing. It will change for obvious reasons, but no, I don't foresee it fading away. Mattie's not the sort of person that 'fades away.'

And I write this about my friend Mattie as I sit here and consider the going away party tomorrow for my best friend Marcelle. YES! Another friend preparing to move. Not around the world (thank goodness), but still 3.5 hrs away. Same time zone -- small blessing. I can scarce bear the thought of not running into her at drama rehearsal or between church services. My whole heart shuts down to think about her not being close by. In fact, I was leaving a message for a mutual close friend of ours today about her party tomorrow, and I don't think that I even was able to finish my sentence, even though it was not about anything particularly sad. It was merely the thought of a party to discuss her moving that I couldn't even wrap my brain around.

Yes, I want to be grown up about these sweet friends moving away. I want to trust that God knows something I don't, and that He's got it all worked out for 'good.' That being said, I'm not seeing anything good about it as it relates to me! I feel very sad and alone and vulnerable and wonder what in the world I am going to do without my girlfriends to be a compass in my oft times chaotic life. Who am I going to call when I go careening off the fairway and into the rough?

There's no closing here. I don't have some clever way to tie up the loose ends on this. I don't know what the answer is. This is more of a rant...a 'shouting at the darkness' type of post where I am just laying it out there to say that I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with such beautiful, amazing women as friends. And right now, I am not seeing the benefit of that because within a couple of weeks of one another, they are both leaving my immediate life. And I am sad. I am so sad.

I love you Mattie & Marcelle. I will miss you more than a blog post can say.



At 7:46 AM, Blogger kucole said...

Great, post. Thanks for your honest thoughts!


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